What is Emotional Intelligence, and Why is it Crucial for Pilots?

It’s very common to think that flying is all about technical skills and precision. But it’s really not that simple 🧠

Most of us are well aware that there are so many skills to master if you want to be an excellent pilot, but there is one skill that often gets overlooked:

Emotional Intelligence (also called EI, or EQ) 💬

We all operate in high-stress environments where clear communication, effective teamwork, and understanding your crew members’ mental model can be the difference between a smooth flight, and a complete disaster.

But here’s the kicker: Pilots tend to score lower on emotional intelligence compared to other professions. Why is that? And more importantly, why does it even matter?

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What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.

It’s about more than just being “in touch” with feelings though. It’s using emotional awareness to guide thinking, improve communication, and make better decisions 🎯

While cognitive intelligence (IQ) is commonly debated on whether it is fixed or fluid, emotional intelligence can be developed over time through both practice and reflection.

Emotional Intelligence is usually broken down into four key pillars:

1️⃣ Self Awareness

This is the ability to recognise and understand your own emotions and how they affect your behaviour. It involves being honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and why.

To see where you stand with this, here are a few questions that can give you an indication:

🔸 Can you identify your own emotional triggers and patterns?

🔸 Do you easily recognise what emotion you are feeling in a given moment?

🔸 Are you aware of how your emotions influence your own thoughts and actions?

2️⃣ Self Regulation

Once you’re aware of your emotions, self-regulation is about managing them effectively. This doesn’t mean suppressing emotions but rather controlling impulses and reacting in a measured, thoughtful way.

To see how you score here, ask yourself these:

🔸 Do you usually pause to think before reacting emotionally?

🔸 Can you control impulses and avoid making rash decisions?

🔸 Do you usually stay calm and composed in stressful situations?

🔸 Are you able to manage negative emotions in an effective way?

🔸 Do you adapt well to unexpected changes without getting frustrated?

3️⃣ Social Awareness

This is also known as empathy. It’s the ability to understand and consider the emotions of others. It involves reading non-verbal cues, understanding different perspectives, and responding in a way that helps create connection and trust with other people.

🔸 Can you usually sense how others are feeling, even without them expressing it?

🔸 Are you able to understand the emotional tone of conversations?

🔸 Are you adaptive to cultural and social differences in interactions?

🔸 Do you try to see situations from someone else’s perspective?

4️⃣ Relationship Management

This is the ability to use emotional insight to manage interactions effectively. It includes skills like conflict resolution, clear communication, and collaboration.

🔸 Do you handle conflicts in a calm way, and find solutions that can benefit everyone?

🔸 Are you able to communicate clearly in difficult conversations?

🔸 Do you build trust and rapport with others easily?

🔸 Do you encourage collaboration and teamwork within teams?

🔸 Can you provide constructive feedback without causing defensiveness?

Why do Pilots Need Emotional Intelligence?

For pilots, emotional intelligence shows up in subtle but quite critical ways. Here are the main benefits:

When coordinating with a stressed-out crew member or handling a tense exchange with air traffic control, your emotional awareness can help defuse tension and increase teamwork.

In emergencies, emotional intelligence helps filter your emotions to keep your focus on what matters. Effective Crew Resource Management (CRM) and Threat and Error Management (TEM) are both heavily dependent on it. We’ve covered TEM here:

Keeping it Simple: Threat and Error Management as a Pilot

People with high emotional intelligence are usually better at managing stress, adapting to change, and navigating complex social situations. It also plays a critical role in building strong relationships in both your personal and professional life.

People with high emotional intelligence tend to have a better time managing their mental health as well. We’ve discussed mental health for pilots here:

The Hidden Impact of Pilot Mental Health on Flight Safety

Many airlines are starting to implement assessments and training on emotional intelligence for pilots as time goes on.

Unlike technical skills, which are taught extensively in flight school, emotional intelligence is often overlooked in pilot training. But as we mentioned earlier, it’s a skill that can be developed.

When you go through self-awareness exercises, and emotional regulation techniques, you can develop your EI just like any other competency.

If you really want to be the best of the best out there, you’ll have to embrace developing your emotional intelligence.

How do Pilots score on Emotional Intelligence?

Let’s just be brutally honest here: Us pilots are not known for our exceptional emotional intelligence. In fact, quite the opposite…

There are many reasons for this that we will get into in a future article, but the bottom line is that emotional intelligence is quite low amongst pilots if we compare it to other professions and demographics.

While a lot of research still needs to be done on this, a recent 2022 study focussed on pilots vs the general public and their emotional intelligence highlighted:

“Comparisons on global trait EI and the four trait EI factors revealed significant differences, with pilots scoring consistently lower than their matched counterparts in global trait EI, Well-being, Emotionality, and Sociability, but not Self-control.”

Meaning, controlling emotions is something pilots struggle with less than the general public (which makes sense considering the environment we’re in), but score lower on the other pillars compared to the general public.

The study also concludes:

“The findings show that pilots tend to have lower trait EI scores, indicating less confidence and reliance on their emotional world”

However, this study only included 44 pilots, and 97% were male (which is to be expected). This means a lot of selection bias and survivorship bias. A lot more research is required to draw more accurate conclusions.

How can you Develop your Emotional Intelligence?

Let’s break down how to improve this in the most practical way possible. Nope, you don’t need to spend ages reading. We’ll break this down per pillar:

1️⃣ How to Develop Self Awareness

The Goal: Recognise and understand your emotions, and how they affect your performance.

The Actions:

🔸 At the end of a busy day, try to set aside 5 minutes to reflect on your emotions. Ask, “What am I feeling right now?” and “How did my emotions impact my decisions today?”

🔸 Keep an Emotion Log: Write down situations where you felt strong emotions during your job or even personal life. Note the triggers, your reaction, and the outcome. Try to review this periodically to identify patterns, if there are any.

🔸 If you’re brave enough: collect feedback. Ask colleagues or crew members how they perceive your emotional responses and overall vibe during flight, and see if there is anything you are completely unaware of.

2️⃣ How to Develop Self Regulation

The goal: Manage emotions effectively, especially under stress.

The Actions:

🔸 Try Mental Reframing: When facing a challenge, reframe it as an opportunity to learn instead of seeing it as a threat. Ask: “What’s within my control here?” Whatever the answer is in that moment, focus on that!

🔸 Delay Reactions: When feeling angry, frustrated, or stressed, try to have a pause before responding to give yourself time to think and choose a measured response instead of an emotionally loaded one.

🔸 Breathing Exercises: Yea we know, it sounds cliché. The truth is though: It works! Practice deep breathing techniques when you’re noticing you’re losing your calm.

🔸 Develop a Pre-Flight Routine: Create a calming pre-flight or morning routine that sets you up for a calm mind throughout the day.

3️⃣ How to Develop Social Awareness

The Goal: Understand and work with the perspective or emotions of others.

The Actions:

🔸 Active Listening: Focus entirely on the speaker during conversations. Avoid multitasking and listen to understand, not just to respond. Use phrases like “What I’m hearing is…” to confirm understanding.

🔸 Practice Observing Non-Verbal Cues: Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Note subtle signs of stress or discomfort, especially during high-pressure situations.

🔸 Ask Open Questions: Encourage others to share their thoughts and feelings by asking questions like, “How do you feel about that?” or “What are your thoughts on this approach?”

🔸 Debrief with Understanding their Perspective: After a flight, discuss what went well and what could be improved, focusing on understanding everyone’s perspectives. Ask questions like, “How did that feel for you?”

🔸 Try to stay curious: Approach interactions with genuine curiosity. Ask about people’s experiences, motivations, and challenges to deepen your understanding of their emotional landscape.

4️⃣ How to Develop Relationship Management

The Goal: Build and maintain strong, collaborative relationships inside and outside the cockpit

The Actions:

🔸 Give Constructive Feedback: Use the sandwich method: Start with a positive, address the issue constructively, and end with encouragement.

🔸 Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Hold brief check ins with your crew members to foster open communication and address any concerns. Starting the day with a message along the lines of “Please feel free to provide feedback if you have any concerns throughout the day”, can make a huge difference on how easy crew members will find sharing their perspective on things.

🔸 Encourage Team Debriefs: After each flight, discuss what went well and what could improve. Create a safe space for honest feedback, and avoid judging or attacking someone’s personality.

🔸 Celebrate the Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your own and team successes, no matter how small. It can massively boost morale and teamwork, even if you personally think it won’t.

Conclusion

Flying isn’t just about mastering technical skills, it’s also about managing emotions, building trust, and working effectively with others. Emotional intelligence helps pilots recognise their own feelings, stay composed under pressure, and understand their crew’s emotional states.

By developing self awareness, self regulation, social awareness, and relationship management, you can improve your ability to navigate both routine operations and high-stress situations. EI isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a skill that grows with practice and reflection.

Investing in emotional intelligence will not only improve your performance but also strengthen teamwork, communication, and decision-making in the cockpit.

The result?

Safer flights, and a more cohesive crew! 🎯

We don’t publish all our Notes from the Cockpit (like this one) publicly, some are shared only by email. Get the next one sent straight to your inbox ⤵️